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Until I'm Still

by Pedestals

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1.
2.
Avoider 04:39
It burdens me I can't stay away for long at all It surfaces It's haunting me It always calls Give up Give in to the pressure of my own affliction Picking up the pieces What a mess I've made Hidden like a secret Can you guess what I crave? Really need to get this off my chest What a mess I've made What a mess I'm learning that it never shifts away from guilt Concerning that I'm always split until I'm still Give up Give in to the pressure of my own affliction Picking up the pieces What a mess I've made Hidden like a secret Can you guess what I crave? Really need to get this off my chest What a mess I've made What a mess Wish it was done It's never done Haven't I waited long enough? Can you blame me if I'm stuck? Haven't I waited long enough? I think I've waited long enough Picking up the pieces What a mess I've made Hidden like a secret Can you guess what I crave? Really need to get this off my chest What a mess I've made What a mess Picking up the pieces What a mess I've made Hidden like a secret Can you guess what I crave? Really need to get this off my chest What a mess I've made What a mess
3.
In the Dark 04:24
I find it hard to start off small Neglect the cost of trying to do it all I see no problem with writing things off Reject the thought that I'm terrified of loss I wanted a change but find myself stuck in place I wanted a break but it's too little, too late I've got a sinking feeling that this will never stop Guess I'll just keep believing that everything is lost I've got a sinking feeling; I can't escape the thought Can't help but wonder if I've been left in the dark I want to know if I'm at fault Did I take on more than I'm capable of? I just want a break from reality Swear I'm giving everything I have It seems it's not enough at all I can't be bothered to pick myself up from this fall I wanted a change but find myself stuck in place I wanted a break but it's too little, too late I've got a sinking feeling that this will never stop Guess I'll just keep believing that everything is lost I've got a sinking feeling; I can't escape the thought Can't help but wonder if I've been left in the dark I've got a sinking feeling that this will never stop Guess I'll just keep believing that everything is lost I've got a sinking feeling; I can't escape the thought Can't help but wonder if I've been left in the dark I find it hard to start off small Neglect the cost of trying to do it all
4.
Drifting 05:07
Sometimes it's set Sometimes it's fixed Sometimes it's automatic It seems we're left in the midst of our awful habits I know that you're slowly drifting away Searching for a single reason to stay I think it's clear Things are fucked up This isn't what we wanted here What was once a wonder now is insincere Things are fucked up This isn't what we wanted Hang it up I think it's time to move on Turn the pages shut And do something that you want It's so hard to see when things are past the point of no return Hope you come around We double down We stay consisten Our pattern's like an echo The impact, the infliction We never want to let go Cause we're lost Tired, sick, and broken All the above Don't want to discuss Don't want to make up I think it's clear Things are fucked up This isn't what we wanted here What was once a wonder now is insincere Hang it up I think it's time to move on Turn the pages shut And do something that you want It's so hard to see when things are past the point of no return Hope you come around Hang it up I think it's time to move on Turn the pages shut And do something that you want It's so hard to see when things are past the point of no return Hope you come around
5.
Tiptoe 03:16
In the middle of it all Try to sneak away and end up in the fall out Tiptoe around heavy voices Too little now, they never notice So I won't bring it up No I won't bring it up again You're so certain there's no cost Keep insisting every time it's not my fault now If I could say enough so they could know it's hurting Try to break it up but I don't think it's working Tiptoe around heavy voices Too little now, they never notice So I won't bring it up No I won't bring it up again Tiptoe around heavy voices Too little now, they never notice Tiptoe around heavy voices Too little now, they never notice So I won't bring it up No I won't bring it up again
6.
Appearances 03:42
Giving it time You're already there Slipping behind You're always prepared I don't want to notice I just want to go my own way I know I can't control it I just want to slow things down Keeping up appearances to hide the truth you keep right out of sight What a surprise Feeding off the fear of missing out, you're not allowed to fall behind Don't fall behind Losing my patience and all sense of direction You just embrace it and never stop to question Doing the same shit and always feeling pressured You just say whatever I don't want to notice I just want to go my own way I know I can't control it I just want to slow things down Keeping up appearances to hide the truth you keep right out of sight What a surprise Feeding off the fear of missing out, you're not allowed to fall behind Don't fall behind Keep up every expectation Be whatever they would like Please leave out your hesitation Be afraid to speak your mind Keep up every expectation Be whatever they would like Please leave out your hesitation Be afraid to speak your mind
7.
Asleep 02:59
Stuck in my ways There's habits I can't break It's all the same It's all that I can take If only I could tolerate it If only my head would cooperate now Fall asleep again Fill our heads with dreams we kept In the sheets we rest We'd stay safe if we never left It's no surprise that things get better when I close my eyes I swear I'm trying I know that I'm not fine Pray that my eyes stay shut Don't feel better when I wake up Shut in for days, I hope I die Fall asleep again Fill our heads with dreams we kept In the sheets we rest We'd stay safe if we never left It's never been enough for me The medication, a plan to treat In the end, all I need is to rest my head and fall asleep Fall asleep If only I could rest my head and Fall asleep again Fill our heads with dreams we kept In the sheets we rest We'd stay safe if we never left
8.
Misplaced 03:34
Waiting out my time It's hurting me to try It's your turn to decide What say you? Scraping my insides Too early to deprive The burden of design that takes you Seems I've been misplaced I need a break from the plans you've made Safe from everything I can't escape So I ran away Look at what we do, toiling for fruit Pointing out what grew to make light of the crooked ends of truth Spoiling the proof Avoiding what we choose to break ties This disbelief divides Seems I've been misplaced I need a break from the plans you've made Safe from everything I can't escape So I ran away Make us sow seeds to wash their hands clean Make us sow seeds to wash their hands clean Make us sow seeds to wash their hands clean of all of us Seems I've been misplaced I need a break from the plans you've made Safe from everything I can't escape So I ran away
9.
Absolution 04:20
Wringing out the guilt that's gathered, clinging to his hands As if it would absolve him of what can't understand These plans won't elude you, it seems they're in place Began as illusion and grew into fate Digging, dredging up doubt Rushing ahead, running it out Waiting, suffering now There's nothing to do but learn to love it somehow Feeling everything collapse Needing to forget Pleading as the time elapsed Screaming to convince These plans won't elude you, it seems they're in place Began as illusion and grew into fate The damage is brutal, can't look at their face Can't seem to control the cruelty I crave Digging, dredging up doubt Rushing ahead, running it out Waiting, suffering now There's nothing to do but learn to love it somehow Digging, dredging up doubt Rushing ahead, running it out Waiting, suffering now There's nothing to do but learn to love it somehow
10.
There's comfort outside in a way that's unclean Cold and unsightly, totally bleak We can't deny, we can't agree There's something in the way Something to be seen Fighting the tide, fighting to be Changing the locks just to swallow the key It's hard to exist outside of wood and string Cables and cogs, nothing but hate in this machine Caught in these lights, lost in release The guilt of surviving the filth you can't see Contained in this life, we chase the wrong leads It's all a design, it's always deceit The way we invite fear in belief When we could decide what everything means Wouldn't you like the quiet and peace of an ordinary life? A disorienting dream Say what you want about me I don't care at all We all decay without peace None are safe from loss I love to think that I'm capable of change But I'm married to my ways and my reason I'll carry all of our secrets to my grave Piled up amongst my bones just to keep them safe I love to think that I'm capable of change But I'm married to my ways and my reason I'll carry all of our secrets to my grave Piled up amongst my bones just to keep them safe I love to think that I’m capable of change (Say what you want about me) But I’m married to my ways and my reason (I don’t care at all) I’ll carry all of our secrets to my grave (We all decay without peace) Piled up amongst my bones just to keep them safe (None are safe from loss) I love to think that I’m capable of change (Say what you want about me) But I’m married to my ways and my reason (I don’t care at all) I’ll carry all of our secrets to my grave (We all decay without peace) Piled up amongst my bones just to keep them safe (None are safe from loss)

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released February 2, 2024

Produced by Pedestals and desmo.
Engineered by Corey Halliday and desmo.
Mixed and mastered by desmo.

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Pedestals

New England Alt-Rock/Shoegaze

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